S2E16 – Q Who

Oh my Continuum, you guys! The Borg are here! THE BOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGG!

Q kidnaps Picard and a shuttle and begs to become a member of the Enterprise, saying he’s been “asked to leave” the Q Continuum. Which, OK, but he still has all his powers? Powers enough to kidnap a shuttle and Picard, and return them, and then fling the Enterprise 7,000 light years away and back again?

Guinan gets a backstory! The Borg nearly wiped out her entire race, and Q seems to be afraid of her, which is awesome. Q spins the Enterprise way off course and, rather than listen to Guinan, Picard decides to explore a little, and WHOOPS! Borg! The Borg are scary. They are unstoppable. And Q knows it, and it forces Picard to accept Q’s help. But not before letting Riker, Data, and Worf beam over to a Borg ship, because I’m like 100% certain he wants the three of them to die.

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S2E15 – Pen Pals

Wesley is put in charge of a science team and learns all about leadership, but not the reason why the top of his pants are always open in the back. Seriously, what’s with that?

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Why, in an entire season, did no costumer fix this shit?

Data is talking to a little girl on the radio, and this leads to another, in no way tiresome, discussion of the Prime Directive. In the corner of “let them all die for some nebulous philosophy we must stringently adhere to except when the plot says so” we have Picard and Worf. In the “dude you can’t just leave an entire race to die” corner are Geordi and Pulaski. And on the “well, this might be part of a larger plan” side we have Riker and Troi. And — what? What plan? God’s plan? Which God? We meet Gods all the time on this show. This is dumb.

Anyway, Picard hears the girl specifically ask for help and apparently that’s all it takes to throw the sacred PD out the window. It’s all OK though because her family was already moving out of the way, so they’re fine, and Data brings her up on the ship so she’s fine, and then they erase her memories, because that’s fine!

S2E13 – Time Squared

Our ship comes across a shuttle containing a duplicate Picard. There’s a giant vortex that wants to eat him and Picard II left in a shuttle to appease the vortex but the Enterprise blew up anyway and — did you ever see The Prestige? This is The Prestige. I wonder how many times Picard had to make this mistake, and maybe Picard II is really, like, Picard VI?

Patrick Stewart proves he’s the only one on this show who can act as well as Patrick Stewart. Since we can’t have that much awesomeness on our TV screens, he kills his double.┬áStone. Cold.