A software glitch causes the USS Yomato to go explody. Picard takes up the sister ships insane goose hunt and finds Iconia, a long lost, long storied planet, now dead but with their technology still in tact. So he blows it up.
The Enterprise Taxi Service picks up a girl for Wesley to love, by which I mean a shape-shifter who is not a human at all and transforms in to a ball of light. Still, less creepy than The Traveller. Gerodi, Data and Riker explains the birds and bees to Wesley.
Oh, goody, another episode debating if Data is a sentient life form or just a cold machine! Man, these will never get old.
Riker and his Beard go over to serve on a Klingon ship as part of a cultural exchange program. Riker’s Beard is way more of a Klingon than Worf will ever be.
On a genetic research station, adults are aging rapidly while their genetically modified kids play “look what I can float with my mind.” Just like Bones in TOS, Pulaski has “transporter phobia.” I love it when doctors are afraid of science.
Dr. Ira Graves has a world named after him – Gravesworld. I want a Cheshworld. I feel I deserve it.
There’s a distress call by the USS Constantinople, which is now the USS Istanbul. Every Ensign in Constantinople lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople, so if you’ve a distress call on USS Constantinople it’ll be waiting on USS Istanbul!
Oh, yeah, and it’s another episode about Data being a machine and therefore his body can be hijacked and, honestly? I got caught up in the Constantinople joke and ignored the rest of this episode.
Another diplomat calls The Enterprise Taxi Service to ferry him to a negotiation. This particular negotiator is deaf and mute and travels with three people who comprise his emotional chorus; so, of course, they are all killed as quickly as possible.
Never, ever, EVER trust a freighter captain in a pirate shirt. Oh, sure, he seems the dashing rogue, but he almost always has a baby-mama in the space port he just left.
Meanwhile, Data learns comedy from Joe Piscopo and Whoopi Goldberg. This has never, in recorded history, ended well for anyone.
Dr. Pulaski is a bigot who doesn’t think Data is a sentient life form. She also says he’s incapable of solving a real mystery and that he’s a poor Sherlock Holmes. I agree – I hate it when my objects fail to live up to the standards of the fictional characters I have assigned them. WHY DON’T YOU SING LIKE LUMIERE, CANDELABRA??? WTF!
The Enterprise encounters a mysterious void in space. It is the writers room.
“Incredible. It’s like looking in to infinity, sir.” Isn’t that, like, literally all of space, Riker?