Does Data Dream of Electric Sheep? Maybe not, but when he returns to his home world he does a terrific impression of Counselor Troi with his vague sense of the memories of others. As they attempt to figure out what happened to the colonists of this world – which apparently no one bothered to look in to 26 years ago when they found Data – they discover his brother, a giant snowflake, and the true meaning “shut up, Wesley.”
Picard, Data, and Dr. Crusher are trapped in a holodeck program, and not a sexy fun times program like Riker would get stranded in – no, they are stranded in a 1940’s PI story where they get shot at. Luckily, they brought a red shirt.
Deanna Troi has an arranged marriage. Awesome. It’s the 24th century and we still have arranged marriages. So glad that custom stuck around. Luckily, the man she is intended for would rather spend the rest of his life on a plague ship than marry her, so she’s dodged that bullet.
Q offers to make Riker a member of the Continumm, and also to kill Wesley. Riker, for some reason that I will never understand, turns Q down.
Picard has a headache. That’s… that’s pretty much it.
The Enterprise finds a brand new Class M planet and the first thing they do is send Commander Horny Pants down, who reports it’s lovely and the chicks are totes bangable and everyone should get shore leave! At NO POINT is it mentioned that this entire set up is a violation of the First Contact principal. These people clearly have no interstellar travel, and are not “sufficiently advanced” to be talking to people from the motherfucking sky.
Fine, whatever. Wesley tramples some flowers and the Edo proclaim he must die. Because they only have one punishment for any crime: Death. This is why you should know who in the Hell you are dealing with before you decide to just start hanging out on their planet.
Picard has a big decision to make: Violate the Prime Directive and beam Wesley up, or let the alien race he just met without observing if they were ready to meet space men yet kill the adorable moppet – and, hey, let’s also point out that he’s *already* violated the Prime Directive in this episode by beaming an Edo on to the ship to meet her God.
This story is stupid and should never have happened.
The Flagship of the Federation fulfills its true purpose – that of taxiing people around to various conferences and meetings. Picard literally jumps ship with a non-corporeal life form, and when he wants to come back in they have to build him a new body from transporter residue and now I wonder if he has a soul.
Wesley makes a special grown up friend. Space, time, and thought aren’t the separate things they appear to be, and thought is the basis of all reality. That’s, like, so deep, man.
The Enterprise encounters the most feared and fearsome alien race – The Ferengi. It’s so nice to finally have an alien race that isn’t a bad or comical stereotype!
AKA “Ladies Love Cool Lutan.” The Enterprise goes to a place to get a thing and the leader there steals Tasha because she is strong and also because she is white and delightsome, and now she has to fight his dark haired, dark skinned woman for the position of “first wife” which Tasha has no interest in being. This episode manages to be both racist AND sexist – which is pretty impressive for episode three of anything EVER.